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shhhhhh Don't expose the lie that he died of natural causes c'mon we Catholics need to keep the conpsiracy going. We all know that Catholic fatwas are much more effective and scarier than the Islmic ones. The former cause people to self censorthemsleves while the latter require external violence for believers to comply. :p ;)



Do these dorks ever stop to ask themselves: if the Catholic Church is the evil, violent institution of their fantasies, intent upon ruthlessly quashing all opposition, Why it is one of the few institutions that can seemingly be attacked with impunity by the media and entertainment industry, etc?

A Gaggle of DeerTM

I've posted some of the internets "greatest" videos on The Da Vinci Code (totally free by the way)

At http://gaggletmtv.blogspot.com/

You need flash, but a lot of people have it installed already. But it would be interesting if Carl and his readers popped in to comment on a couple of them.
Videos like :
Da Vinci Decoded
DaVinci Code Delusion
Da Vinci, Judas and a Fish
The Real Da Vinci Code
Cracking The Da Vinci Code
And The da Vinci Code: Fact or Fiction?

And if anyone has any links to more videos We'd love to post more!!

-Dave Titus
A Gaggle of DeerTM

Jeff Miller

No it is just that the albino monk assassins were much better back than, they could make it look like you died of natural causes at seventy.


Carl, have you been on any shows this week? I've been trying to keep up, and don't want to miss you!

john lovallo

Findex.com Releases Survey of Pastors, Bible Study Leaders And Biblical Scholars On The Impact Of The DaVinci Code Controversy On Christianity

80% of respondents believe The DaVinci Code controversy offers a positive opportunity to talk about faith

41% of respondents have used the topic as a subject in a sermon or study session.

OMAHA, Neb., May 18, 2006 – FindEx.com, Inc. (OTC Bulletin Board: FIND), a leading software provider for Bible study through its QuickVerse brand, and financial and data management for churches and non-profit organizations through its Membership Plus brand, today released the results of an online survey of United States based pastors, Bible study leaders and Biblical scholars focusing on the impact that The DaVinci Code controversy has had on Christianity.

FindEx, whose Bible study software product QuickVerse has sold over one million copies, conducted the online survey with the assistance of Key Survey between May 16 and 18, 2006, polling registered users of QuickVerse Platinum Edition, the company’s most expensive ($599.00) and extensive Bible study software program, and receiving almost 600 total responses, including 220 responses from pastors alone. Users of QuickVerse Platinum Edition tend to include pastors, Bible study leaders and Biblical scholars across a number of Christian denominations including, Assembly of God, Baptist, Southern Baptist, Catholic, Church of Christ, Episcopal, Lutheran, Methodist, Presbyterian, as well as Christian nondenominational.

A synopsis of the survey results reveals the following:
Consolidated Responses From Pastors, Bible Study Leaders and Biblical Scholars.

- Although only 24% of respondents have read The DaVinci Code, 46% said that they would not boycott the movie, despite requests to initiate a boycott.
- Only 41% of respondents have used the topic of The DaVinci Code as a subject in a sermon or study session.
- 80% of respondents believe that The DaVinci Code controversy offers a positive opportunity to talk about faith in their community.
- 51% of respondents felt that The DaVinci Code would bring about an increased interest in Christianity.
- However, 69% of respondents do not believe that either The DaVinci Code book or movie will cause Christians to rethink Christ’s identity.

Responses From Pastors
- 27% of respondents have read The DaVinci Code, 43% said that they would not boycott seeing the movie, despite requests to initiate a boycott.
- 43% of respondents have used the topic of The DaVinci Code as a subject in a sermon or study session.
- 82% of respondents believe that The DaVinci Code controversy offers a positive opportunity to talk about faith in their community
- 51% of respondents felt that The DaVinci Code will bring about an increased interest in Christianity.
- 66% of respondents do not believe that either The DaVinci Code book or movie will cause Christians to rethink Christ’s identity.
The full survey results are attached.

“What was most surprising of the survey’s results was that only 41% of the sampling have used The DaVinci Code as a subject in a sermon or Bible study session, but 80% believe that this movie offers a positive opportunity to talk about faith in their community,” noted Steve Malone, President and CEO, Findex.com. “We believe that the media attention the movie is receiving will increase interest in Christianity among both current and new believers of the Bible, and offer an opportunity for discussion at all levels, including families, in order to further understand and gain knowledge of the Bible and the life of Christ.”

About FindEx.com, Inc.
Findex.com, Inc. is focused on becoming the premier Bible study software provider. The company develops and publishes church and Bible study software products designed to simplify biblical research, streamline church office tasks, provide easy access to Bible-related stories, and enhance the user’s understanding of the Bible. The company also publishes a product for the financial and data management of churches and non-profit service organizations. The company’s one operating division called The Parsons Church Group was acquired in July 1999 from The Learning Company, a division of Mattel, Inc.

Key Products

The company’s main product is QuickVerse, a Bible study search engine tool. Over 1,000,000 copies of QuickVerse have been sold since the product’s conception. Significant and also growing in importance is the Membership Plus product, a Windows-based financial and data management product for churches and other non-profits. All products are available at the company’s website www.quickverse.com.

John Lovallo
Email: [email protected]


Everyone knows that the real Galileo was secretly burned at the stake in 1632 and that he was replaced by a member of the Opus Dei Drama Department (an albino who through the ingenius use of makeup was made to appear normal). It was the imposter who went under house arrest and who died of natural causes (at least we think it was natural causes he may have been assassinated for failing to strictly follow his self-flagellation regimen). It was also a member of the ODDD that replaced Paul VI after he was kidnapped. Though the existence of Opus Dei was made public knowledge early in this century, the existence of their Drama Department is still a closely-held secret.

El Perro Patron

Catho-holics and Fundamentalist Mouthbreathers throughout the land will be on an amphetamine-fueled rampage beginning May 19 with the release of the film version of Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code. They've been gearing up for this for months, perhaps even for years, as the book began to skyrocket up the charts. What's sending the outrage-addicted, frothing minions into binge-drinking of wingnut-flavored Kool-Aid is the fact that the fictional novel dares to use alternative theories of history to the Church-Approved mythology that a nice little Jewish boy was born of a virgin, died a virgin and magically flew out of his grave after having been murdered by the very people he came to save. Never mind the fact that this very same archetypical "Hero's Myth" has existed in numerous cultures long before the supposed birth of Christ. We'll save that for another post.

So yes, Dan Brown committed the cardinal sin of offering an alternative version to the official myth, causing people across the globe to wonder if there may just be some things that they were taught in Sunday School that might not be factually correct. And now the Cretins of Christianity are on the warpath against Brown and his book. This all goes hand in hand with the charges of Blasphemy and War on Christianity that flow freely from the pulpits of America and from the blather-holes of the hyperventilators at Faux News. Yes, its all true, Little Ones, your religion is being examined for historical accuracy, debated, criticized and even mocked. Well guess what wingnuts, if your "faith" can't withstand a little questioning and/or ridicule, just how strong is it? How much "faith" can you have in your own faith when you advocate taking legal action against someone who dares to question it? http://go.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=topNews&storyID=12089692

But how much of this is about faith and how much about good old fashioned greed? Check out Amazon.com. There are at least a dozen books on the market purporting to "debunk" http://insightscoop.typepad.com/2004/ (How do you debunk a work of fiction?) DVC. Looks to me like these guys saw the tens of millions of dollars flowing into Dan Brown's bank account and decided to piggyback on his phenomenal success, thus engaging in at least two of the Seven Deadly Sins; Envy and Greed, and most likely a third; Anger. Its not only other authors that are capitalizing on Brown's success, but churches themselves are getting on it. And this makes sense. Think about it, if one church announces that they will have a sermon next Sunday discussing the relevance of Luke Chapter 16 (Look it up) and one across the street announces that they will be discussing a book that at least 40 million people have recently read, which one do you think will fill the pews (and thusly, the collection plates) more on that Sunday?

Websites, dedicated to selling books, organizing protests and of course, soliciting donations have sprung up all over the place. Check out The American Society for the Defense of Tradition, Family and Property (TFP)'s http://www.tfp.org/davincicode/index.htm site. What I really love about these guys is their nifty logo that looks like something that a Medieval Templar would have on his shield and/or breastplate while riding of into battle against the hordes of Mohammedism. They really believe they are taking up the mantle of the ancient Crusaders by organizing their little protest at multiplexes across the nation. Onward, Christian Soldiers!! And be sure to stop by the Bed Bath and Beyond next to the theater after the protest is over.

But other than greed and envy, perhaps there's another motivation to attack the book and its author: Yet another Weapon of Mass Distraction. Setting up an battling a fictional strawman is far preferable for the Catholic Church than having to continue to explain to their parishioners and the public at large why Holy Mother Church spent decades simply reassigning exposed pedophile priests rather than turning them over to legal authorities as was their lawful and moral responsibility. Never mind the children! Look at was this damned book is saying about that whore, Mary!

But wait, you Baptists and Fundamentalists also have good reason to seek distractions and get the attention off your own failures and inadequacies. Teri Schiavo, anyone? How about the debate over "Intelligent Design" and evolution? How about using rampant homophobia, racism, sexism and superstition as political weapons? But hell, never mind all those affronts. Nothing to see here, move along. Lets talk about The War On Christmas and Da Vinci Code. Remember, you, the 80% of America that calls itself Christian, you are the ones who are the real victims here. Never forget that.

And speaking of the Religious Right, check out the lasted pronouncement that God On High whispered into the ear of our favorite lunatic: http://www.wftv.com/news/9235304/detail.html#

And just what the hell is "Blasphemy" anyway? Anytime anyone says anything that questions or mocks or rejects the official doctrine of The Church, they are accused of blasphemy. I guess sanctions against "blasphemy" were the original Political Correctness. Why can't I disbelieve and strongly denounce or mock your religion? In the Marketplace of Ideas why is a religion to be singled out as a protected monopoly, free from the burden of having to "compete" equally with other religions, philosophies, beliefs and codes of conduct? Why should Christianity be given a no-bid contract? Who do they think they are, Halliburton? Why does it need to be protected? Are these religious beliefs built upon such a fragile house of cards that their leaders and many practitioners fear that a few good blasts from the realms of Reason, Literature, Art or Humor can bring it all crashing down?

One man's religion is another mans quaint allegory and/or mythology. But as long as it gives you comfort and meaning, that should be enough. The desire/obsession to make your neighbors believe and behave as you do just stems from insecurity in yourself and your faith. If you chose to believe that your spiritual leader died a virgin and flew out of his grave like David Blaine, good for you. If someone else wants to believe that he married and had kids, who does that hurt? Only your fragile ego, that someone might believe differently than you.

Remember, it was one of our genius forefathers, Thomas Jefferson, who once wrote, "But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg."


Personally, I don't believe Thomas Jefferson ever existed, so don't try to force your belief in him on me!


Thomas Jefferson was in fact an agent working for Opus Dei. His job was to make sure Catholicism was legal in Virginia so it could proceed to take over the country, as it is doing now. You can find a secret message attesting to that if you take the initials of all of Sally Hemmings' living descendants and arrange them in a certain order.

El Perro Patron

Carl Olson's only real message here: "Buy my book. I've got bills to pay."


Carl, I think El Perro's having a hissy fit, because the movie critics have shown professional integrity by panning TDVC, hence he's taking his frustration out on us.

Perro, it must be exhausting carrying that burden of hate around with you.


I think El Perro Patron is an Opus Dei plant intended to make fans of the Da Vinci Code look bad.

Here's the evidence: El Perro Patron is an anagram for Lean Roper Trop. Lean and Roper are both indicative of an ascetic monk (Roper indicating that he wears a rope as a belt, a common practice among monks). Roper also has the double meaning of hangman, indicating that he is an assassin for the Church. Trop is short for tropic, which derives from the Greek word trope, which mean turn. Which is cognate with the Latin toqueo, which can mean to turn, but also to torture (it is where we get the word "torture" from). So El Perro Patron is, in fact, a lean monk with a rope for a belt who tortures himself (self-flagellation), probably tortures heretics as well, and almost certainly assassinates them. I would not be at all surprised if he were an albino.


Publius, you're the man.

Mark Brumley

Brilliant, Publius.

I am certain there is a way to get "Lee Harvey Oswald" out of "El Perro Patron". I just haven't figured out how yet.


Does El Perro Patron add up to 666 by any chance?



No. In Roman numerals the only letter that can be used as a number is L, and that is 50. In Greek letter numerals, all the letters in his name add up to 991 (if you take both e's as epsilons, not etas). But... 991 turned upside down and reorded can yield 616 which is what some manuscripts of the Apocalypse have as the Mark of the Beast. You might very well be onto something.


Seems like El Perro Patron touched a nerve there.


P9: I think you've got a rival; El Perro seems even more unhinged than you.



Is that the best you can do to defend your Opus Dei assassin monk compatriot (whom I irrefutably proved to be such through research and anagramatical evidence)? Why would you want to help such a pretender who only wants to undermine your cause anyway? That in itself makes your motivation suspect.


My cause? my motivation? I wonder where this paranoia frenzy is going to end ...

MLC: Unhinged? hehe that's funny, coming from someone who's quite worried about the message of a novel and the movie based on that novel.


Project 9:
Nope El perro patron didn't hit a nerve so much as piss us off. Here's a question: if the Catholic church and Christanity are such murderous frauds how come they've survived for 2000 years while communism managed only 75 years before succumbing? How long before people stop dieing for lies?
El perro patron:
As the token foreigner, I don't much care for Jefferson and don't unconciously genuflect whenever I hear his name



Your constant refrain is: "you folks are irrational for debunking fiction".
Time and again we have tried to explain to you the speciousness of the "just fiction" doctrine. You have repeatedly failed to answer our points, proving that your mind is closed and you are just not listening.
Frankly, arguing with you is futile; not because of your irresistible logic, but because you are like a kid who has to have the last word at all costs, no matter how inane it is.


The Da Vinci Code is a non-fictional treatise (in terms of genre, not veracity*) wrapped in a fictional novel. It was a brilliant move on Brown's part since it allows him and his supporters to make certain claims about history and then say "It's just fiction!" when anyone tries to debunk or criticize those claims.

*In the same way a book claiming that aliens from outer space built the pyramids would be non-fiction even though most of us wouldn't consider its claims to be true.


MLC seems like you're confusing me with someone else because what you're saying in your last post doesn't match reality at all. The only "argument" i've seen so far on that subject is the "if i wrote a novel about your mother ..." one, which i think is quite silly and have replied to it more than once.


No you haven't you just keep saying "it'sjust fiction". I suggest you read Carl's article "The it's just fiction doctrine". Then maybe we can have a sensible debate.


Xavier: The Catholic Church does have a past of blood and deceit, that you can't deny. You can't compare the power the socialists in any country ever had with the power of the Catholic Church has had. Why? beacause socialism never had the influence the Catholic Church has had, the socialist movement was particular to a few countries while the Church's influence has reached places that never heard of socialism. One thing is for sure tho, the power and influence of the Catholic Church has been declining over the years, and it seems it'll continue to decline some more.


You're wrong P9

The communists killed more people in 70 years than Christians, of any sort, killed in 2000.

As to you're second remark, the Catholic Church is bigger now than at any time in history, and is flourishing in many parts of the world.

Sorry if that's unpalatable to you, it just happens to be true.


The fact that Catholics are arguing over this at all is what leads credence to what Project 9 says. You want to get upset over a fictional book and now argue with someone on the internet that doesn't like you? Communism lasted much longer than 75 years. Communism is still around today, so I do not understand that statement at all. Christan deaths-do they count all the deaths by crusade and withchunt and Manifest Destiny? I have feeling you would be amazed at the amount of people slaughtered but the Catholic church and a Catholic Fatwa is a contradiction in terms-read "Cathoilc Islamic Holy War." So far Project 9 is the only one being rational at all here.

Cristina A. Montes

Publius: Actually I was wondering if both EPP and P9 were actually Carl Olson himself under aliases. :P

Seriously, though, I noticed that a favorite tactic of TDVC defenders is to enumerate all the atrocities committed by the Catholic Church leaders, past and present. But I think the issue in this controversy is not whether Catholic Church leaders are sinless or not. It is whether it is okay to insult religion itself -- whether one's own religion or that of others. I believe respect for people's religious sensibilities -- even if you don't share them yourself -- is crucial in promoting peace and understanding. Religous "tolerance" is not enough; we have to actually respect people's religions whether we agree with them or not.

Ryan wrote "Communism lasted much longer than 75 years. Communism is still around today, so I do not understand that statement at all." I write: read "The Grand Failure" by Zbignew Brezinski (I don't know if I spelled his first name right.)

As for Thomas Jefferson...The Thomas Jefferson Information Center is actually an arm of the US Embassy here in the Philippines. The website says that it "assists Filipinos in understanding the United States by providing information and materials which focus on the policies, practices, history and culture of the United States. It responds to requests for current information from policy-makers as well as the general public." I suspect it's a tool for the US to spread propaganda about everything it has done to save our country from backwardness, thus perpetuating its imperialistic colonization of our country...(now of course, I'm joking!) :P

El Perro Patron

Looks like most Catholics are not as paranoid and narrow-minded as those found on this board:

"Da Vinci Code" breaks Italian box office records

The movie adaptation of Dan Brown's bestseller earned 2 million euros ($2.6 million) on its opening night, nearly double the takings of Italy's previous top film, Oscar-winner Roberto Benigni's "Life is Beautiful".

"The Da Vinci Code" has broken box office records in Roman Catholic Italy as tens of thousands of Italians ignored Vatican calls to boycott the film. The movie adaptation of Dan Brown's bestseller earned 2 million euros ($2.6 million) on its opening night, nearly double the takings of Italy's previous top film, Oscar-winner Roberto Benigni's 1997 tragi-comic Holocaust drama "Life is Beautiful".

Italian news agencies reported record queues around the country to see the film of the novel that ignited Vatican ire by saying Jesus had a child with Mary Magdalene and the Catholic Church hushed this up.

Millions worldwide are expected to flock to see the film on its opening weekend, shrugging off protests by Christian groups and tepid reviews at its Cannes film festival premier this week.

Many Christians across the world believe the theories in "The Da Vinci Code" are blasphemous, and the Vatican has led an offensive against the book and the film, calling for a boycott.

Members of ultra-Catholic group, Christian Militants, picketed some cinemas in central Rome, close to the Vatican, chanting "Dan Brown remember you will also be judged by Christ". Many Italians are fans, however, buying tens of thousands of the more than 40 million copies of the books sold worldwide.

Italy's tourist industry has also leapt on the Dan Brown boom. Special tours are running in Rome and to the church in Milan containing Leonardo da Vinci's "The Last Supper", a painting central to "The Da Vinci Code" plot.

Florence, where the Renaissance master lived, is holding a series of exhibitions throughout the European summer focused on cracking the code of Da Vinci's paintings and designs.

Sanity: 1 Wingnuts; 0

El Perro Patron

hey MLC

My review of you denizens of paranoia was written in advance of the film release and critics' articles. So, once again, you are wrong.


Hey, El Perro; it seems like you've caught rabies. LOL


Project 9:
You haven't read 20th century have you? Communism was vry influential. So much so that many local communist parties were nothing more than extensions of the Russian communist party and carried out as best as possible Soviet foreign policy. Through the Mikothen and the KGB archives we've learnt many interesting factoids: that Ho Chi minh and Kim il Sung were Comintern agents handpicked by Stalin to lead their respective parties. Culturally, many artists were sympathteic to communism to the point that
As for blood, yes regrettably Catholics both laity and clergy have shed blood but nothing, absolutely nothing in comparasion to communism. Communism is a killing ideology and left nothing worth preserving.

El perro patron:

Yeah but the movie will still tank. The secular press is really torn up: on the one hand they'd love to cheer on the slander against the church; on the other hand the movie really, really sucks. So they'll just have to wait for the movi version of Pullman's books.



Anyone with a brain please: The Bible was written by Divine Inspiration. The "Duh" Vinci Code was written by an idiot.
Duh Vinci was a homosexual. What do you expect from a homosexual? And what can you expect from anyone who seeks "wisdum" (not a spolling mistake) in a painting done a few hundred years ago, by a gay painter? That person must be an...........(fill as appropriate).

El Perro Patron


The movie will "tank?"

Guess your God-given talent as a predictor of box office grosses isn't serving you so well. Time to spend more time in prayer and penance.

It appears that most people still have the good sense to ignore the handful of paranoid delusionals that inhabit this board and the Vatican, as well as the critics.

"UPDATED: Da Vinci Code Posts 12th Best Opening Day in U.S., 5th Best Opening Day in Japan; Just Under $30 Million For Friday's Domestic Box Office; Sony Rivals Predict $80 Mil Opening Weekend"

I really don't care who does or does not like the book or film. Its a matter of personal taste. My interest is in the kind of paranoid personality disorder that it takes to make you people so afraid of a novel and film. To put it bluntly, you idiots are amusing to me.

A perfect example of the kind of human stupidity that I find amusing to observe can be found in Matey's post above. That's just a hoot!

Did I make any "spolling" mistakes?

El Perro Patron

Also hilarious:

CECCANO, Italy (AFP) - A handful of conservative Italian local councillors and activists were booed as they burned a copy of Dan Brown's novel "The Da Vinci Code," which they called "blasphemous."

El Perro Patron

Damn! I should have finished the article before posting. It gets even better!!

The demonstrators in Ceccano called on Christians to react "with force and conviction against this horrible attack on the most holy person of Jesus Christ."

But they were outnumbered by protestors hissing in disapproval of the symbolic incineration of a literary work.

As the bestseller's pages were gradually consumed by flames, a number of tomatoes were thrown in the direction of the two councillors.

Makes me proud of my Italian-American heritage!!


El perro patron:
paranoid personality disorder? I'll remember that the next time the ACLU or Abe Foxman rants about the coming theocracy or freak out whenever a cross or creche show up in a public place.
In the meantime, I'll still maintain that the movie will tank. Not so much because of the Christians protesting but the movie critic griping about how boring the movie is. With Xmen 3 coming out quite soon. We'll see if the Duh Vinci codde has staying power.



Also, Xavier the upcoming soccer World Cup will be a bigger draw fo people than the Duh Vinci Load, not least in Italy.

El Perro Patron

The perfect statement:
"Why is the Church intimidated by Brown’s theories more than issues on clerical pedophilia, church sex scandals, Vatican opulence and extravagance despite the poverty of its Catholic laity, which are issues that have a greater tendency of corroding the faith of its followers?"

Eric F. Mallonga: The Manilla Times

El Perro Patron


While that it undoubtedly correct, it is equally correct that the Super Bowl has more viewers than the amount of people who attend the nation's churches on any Christmas Eve or Easter Sunday.

So what's your point?

El Perro Patron

Oh, by the way.... 77 MILLION DOLLAR Opening weekend

That's just the domestic...


How's that taste, a little bitter? Perhaps a few slugs of Communion whine will help that go down a bit easier.



My point, El Perro, I thought was obvious: when the World Cup begins, interest in the Load will dwindle.

El Perro Patron

Do you get dizzy when you spin like that? Keep trying. Its amusing to watch.

There's nothing you can say to spin or distract from the fact that this film is already a smashing success. If I were Dan Brown or Ron Howard, I would personlly thank all of you DVC-hysterics for helping to generate so much controversy and free publicity, thereby helping the film become such a success.


I hope Brown and Howard's ill-gotten gains make them happy. There's no pockets in shrouds, as they say.

El Perro Patron

yes, entertaining millions of people, giving them a few hours of enjoyment.. How utterly despicable of Brown and Howard. Far better that they should make a film depicting nearly two hours of graphic torture and violence. Oh wait, Mel Gibson already did that. Nevermind.


Thanks for reminding me about the World Cup. That'll defintely

Perro patron:
Funny but Ron Howard seems deeply conflicted about the movie. The interview transcripts that I've read seems to bring out that ambivalence.
Nothing wrong with entertaining but Amy Welborn does bring out point: the depiction of Opus dei is a big F you to the group. Both Ron and the script writer could've easily read up on the subject or even put a disclaimer but didn't. So does entertainement entail bad faith depictions?

El Perro Patron

yeah, just like every film or book that has an FBI or CIA director or other government agent who does evil deeds is a big F you to the United States Government or a particular agency, right?

Guess they should all have disclaimers that their characters are not meant to impune all government agents.


Perro Patron:
Law and order does. In fact if you read the credits at the end of various TV shos and movies, they have a boilerplate disclaimer about if anyone or an event actually took place it was pure coincidental, etc etc. So, having a disclimer at teh beginning of the Duh vinci code would cost Ron and Sony nothing. They forgot Henri IV adage that Paris is well worth a mass.


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