The Duh Vinci Conundrum Author's
Note: Surveying a world racked by war,
torn asunder by violence, and assaulted by Britney Spears, I realized that it
was time to make a statement. You are about to read that statement, a novel
that is factual, thoroughly-researched, and filled with secrets that no man
has ever dared to utter. In fact, all of my sources are written by women, men
who wished they were women, and women who don't like being women. Not that men
and women are different or anything, of course. Duh. Anyhow, prepare to be shocked,
challenged, and assaulted by literature so powerful and persuasive that I occasionally
find myself believing in it, especially when appearing on The Yesterday Show
or on Larry King Almost Live. Be brave, dear reader, and dare where no man has
gone before: to chapter 264! May the Holy Grail guide you as you seek to find
a plot and a character worth caring about.
A Novelty Novel About Secret Societies, Mysterious Paintings, Fair-Skinned
Monks, Dark Religious Secrets, and (hold on tight!) "the Vatican"
Chapters 1-7 (with 257 chapters to follow...eventually)
By Carl E. Olson
Chapter 1
Bob Leisure awoke at about forty miles an hour. Prior
to waking he had been asleep. It had been that way most of his life: sleeping,
awaking, sleeping. He didn’t mind.
The darkness was ringing. No, his ears were ringing. Wait. Correction, his tiny
cell phone was ringing, hidden in the recesses of his pocket, which were attached
to his pants. His pants were still on. Pretty weird, eh?
Looking around at the dark interior of the Super 8 room, he saw nothing. He
quickly surmised that he saw nothing because it was dark. He turned on a light
and pulled out the screaming phone. Now lit, the room looked like the interior
of a Super 8 motel room. That figured, he thought to himself. He had always
been a thinker and he thought this was a thought worth sharing with the readers.
Can't wait for Part 3!
Posted by: Cristina A. Montes | Monday, May 15, 2006 at 08:21 AM
Cristina, I,ve been waiting for a year! Come on Carl, it's cruel to keep us in suspense for length of time
Posted by: MLC | Monday, May 15, 2006 at 08:28 AM
Typo alert: that should read "....it's cruel to keep us in suspense for THIS length of time.
Posted by: MLC | Monday, May 15, 2006 at 08:30 AM
Have any of you seen the most hilarious, highly rated short film spoof of THE DA VINCI CODE?
It's called, THE ALBINO CODE, watch the 12 minute FREE film at www.albinocode.com
Spread the word if you think it's funny!
- Dennis
www.albinocode.com
Posted by: Dennis | Monday, June 12, 2006 at 06:58 PM