At least he nose what a book iz. And ware too put it.

The latest reader review of The Da Vinci Hoax on the Barnes & Noble site speaks for itself. So to speak:

Brandon Vanover (firekiller814@hotmail.com), a Librarian, March 20, 2006,
Get over it
The Da Vinci code was a work of fiction, which means it WASN'T MEANT TO BE REAL. Dan Brown is an excelent writer who had an idea and wrote on it. Just like any excelent writers out there. Most of the anti Da Vinci Code fanatics are just christians with a grudge and need to realize that the bible is also a book and cant be proved to be entirely factual either. I dont understand why people have to complain about fictional books, their not real

Mr. Vanover gives our book one star out of five. We'd give up the one star just to find out where he works as a librarian...

Comments

[Owen]

"I dont understand why people have to complain about fictional books, their not real"

OK, we know the book isn't real but is Mr. Vancover saying the complaining people are not real? :) "their" refers to the people in this sentence.

Aside from that small point this is much too biased a work to honestly be called a book review.

[Carl Olson]

It's part of the wide open and egalitarian nature of the internet, I suppose, that folks such as Mr. Vanover can post "book reviews" that don't actually review a book.

[Cristina A. Montes]

"their not real". It should be "they're not real." THat's basic English! I know this even if English is not my national language (or at least, the nationalist here say it shouldn't be.) Is this what becomes of the English of people who read books like TDVC? :D

(Now before you make comments that I'm being uncharitable, I was joking, in case you didn't get it. The Coded Craziness would drive us crazy if we didn't take it with a sense of humor.)

Carl's right. If I may add, the egalitarian nature of the Net is a double edged sword. On the one hand, it gives real geniuses who don't have enough connections to make their ideas known. On the other hand, it allows sloppy thinkers to spread whatever ideas they have, to be swallowed by even sloppier thinkers.

[talpianna]

I've never written on an idea, myself--there simply isn't enough space. I usually write on a computer keyboard, or a pad, or a scrap of paper, or....

{end snobbish comment}

[Patricia Gonzalez]

Ummm ... this guy is a librarian???? Where on earth did he get his qualifications, the local five-and-dime? I used to teach English (mostly lit., but some grammar), and he looks to me like a prime candidate for Remedial English -- I'd put him in the same class with Dan Brown!

[talpianna]

Patricia, Dan Brown would only get someone else to do his homework....

[Naomi]

Some people call ANYONE who works in a library a librarian.

Some librarians can count, parse, and spell.

[Staff, A Gaggle of Deer TM]

You would exchange a worse rating for your book if you were to know which library Mr. Vanover works at? What would you do with that knowledge? I mean, it is of course well documented that it is easy to beat up most librarians of the standard librarian demographic. (Unless they are brandishing the Bible, the dictionary, The Chronicles of Narnia Box Set or all six Harry Potter Books, all which are rather heavy and probably would be quite formidable projectiles or bludgeons, not to mention the late fees...) Are you suggesting something as brutish as assaulting this unsuspecting librarian? I dare say that is not behavior which suits you Carl. I hope that threats of violence were far from your mind when you said you wished you knew where Brandon Vanover works. Surely this would be a place for moderation, debate. Fair understanding that as tense as the subject matter may be, and as many jibes you receive for your work, dear Carl, that you should give all who disagree an opportunity to see your side of things. I postulate that Brandon Vanover is a nice man, with a keen mind. Perhaps you could sit and reason with him, discuss your sides and come to an agreement? Or perhaps, you could at least come to an understanding that you agree to disagree- and if so, at least you will have won an ally in understanding that both of you are welcome to your beliefs.

Or is that what you intended to say:

"Mr. Vanover gives our book one star out of five. We'd give up the one star just to find out where he works as a librarian... so I could go there and treat him to a spirited debate, one which I suspect I am well studied for and feel I have a strong argument. Should we be unable to come to an agreement... perhaps over coffee or maybe some tea, (I like a good cup of tea with debate- it is quite civilized) Should at that point we be unable to come to an agreement... that's when I'll hit him on the head with this mallet. After all he is just a librarian. Frikken librarians. Weak. I'll hit him on the head with this mallet, then I'll parade his unconscious body about the town square for all to see! For he will have been proven wrong by force! I will teach him to... wait.. sorry... I didn't intend to make it sound like a threat of violence. it was of course a figure of speech. It was a metaphor. I meant I'd hit him on the head with this mallet... the mallet of even-temperedness and kind-understandingosity."

[Brandon VanOver]

The views of Brandon Vanover the Librarian do not represent those of another Brandon VanOver who may or may not work at a major publishing house and who may or may not have googled himself to his own horror. The nexus of modern identity has made me see my own shadow, crawl back in my hole and get ready for six more months of winter. PS. The Walrus was Paul. And Rosebud was a sleigh.

[Brandon VanOver]

The views of Brandon Vanover the Librarian do not represent those of another Brandon VanOver who may or may not work at a major publishing house and who may or may not have googled himself to his own horror. The nexus of modern identity has made me see my own shadow, crawl back in my hole and get ready for six more months of winter. PS. The Walrus was Paul. And Rosebud was a sleigh.

[Brandon Vanover]

Wow i wasnt aware that there was a whole site dedicated to me, i'm honored. I found the purposefull mispelling of words the funniest thing on here, o and the most intelligent. I'm not a librarian anymore, i'll admit that was a little exageration, i worked there over the summer. I did, however, read The Davinci Code as well as all of Dan Browns work, and i dont see why you all make attacks on him as well as me. He didn't mispell words. Mr Brown is an excellent (noticed i brushed up on my spelling) writer and you all need to get over the fact that he wrote something that you might find offensive, i did not know that was such a bad thing. I think you all need to get lives and stop attacking people who attack books.