The Blessed Virgin Mary's Role in the Celibate Priest's Spousal and Paternal Love | Fr. John Cihak, S.T.D. | Ignatius Insight
Introduction [1]
I wrote this article more on
my knees than at my desk. It began with jottings from mental prayer over the past
year. When I finally sat down to assemble them into a coherent whole, I had a
pile of Post-It notes and scribblings on the last pages of Magnificat issues – a collection of my own pensées. This
article is entitled, "The Blessed Virgin Mary's Role in the Celibate Priest's
Spousal and Paternal Love." [2] I will
argue in the following pages that Our Lady plays an essential and indispensable
role in the development of the priest's masculinity, especially its spousal and
paternal dimensions, and the manner that masculinity is lived out in celibate
love. [3] In other words, I want to show how Our Lady helps the priest become a
husband and father as a celibate and thus come to fulfillment as a man.
The Recent Challenges and the Perennial Condition
I offer this reflection in
the here and now of the 21st century Catholic Church in America,
institutionally still reeling, I suspect, from the revelations of clerical
misconduct that have shamed us, exposed us to ridicule and derision, and have
also called us to accountability. However, one easily overlooked dimension of
the recent challenge we have faced is the departure from active ministry of
those who are called "JPII priests" (John Paul II priests). After we thought
the 60s, 70s and 80s were over, we have had a discouraging repeat of attrition
of priests from active ministry. I have known several of them who have
subsequently attempted marriage, or suffered alcohol and drug problems. These
are not dissenting priests. These "JPII priests" are committed to the Church
and the priesthood and espouse the orthodox faith and the Church's disciplines,
including clerical celibacy.
Why is this happening? One
obvious answer is that intellectual orthodoxy, while necessary, is not
sufficient for perseverance in the priesthood in these times. Another obvious
answer is to place much blame on the culture and the state of family life. Many
of these men who have come unmoored in their vocations have suffered from the
effects of our culture of divorce, abuse, materialism and sexual license. A
third answer is the deplorable example for many men given by their own fathers,
who teach through their own behavior that to be a man means sexual conquest. A
man, in this view, does not need to take responsibility for his actions, and is
responsible to no one. Young men come to prepare for the priesthood with much
more relational brokenness than in previous generations. I believe these
answers are true, but do not go deep enough.
Perhaps more subtly
considered the "JPII priest" attrition is simply a recent example of the
perennial struggle for the celibate priest in his affectivity and
relationships, in his heart and most especially in his spousal and paternal
love. To put it simply, how are all those natural desires—including
erotic desires—to be a husband and father supposed to function in the
priest's free promise of celibacy? The answer that some ex-priests in the 1970s
offered was that those desires have no place in celibacy and therefore the
discipline of celibacy should change. The argument was that the discipline of
celibacy prevented a man from fully developing as a man. When it was perceived
that the Church would not change the discipline, they left. But this answer is
too superficial for the deep mystery that is the celibate priesthood.
Nevertheless the clash is felt deeply in the heart of a man called to celibacy
in the priesthood. The gap appears not in the alignment of one's intellect to
the truth of priestly celibacy, but how this truth of priestly celibacy becomes
enfleshed in the priest's heart and in his relationships as a man.
Pope Benedict has given us
an initial stab at the challenge in Deus caritas est in his treatment of the relationship between eros and agape and the transformation of disordered eros into an ordered eros that provides the vitality for agape love. [4] In the case of the celibate priest, it is
the transformation of his disordered eros into a truly spousal and paternal love that is expressed in his
celibate agape.
Can this happen? I think we would all say, Yes. But how does this happen? There is nothing automatic about
it, and there are many potential pitfalls. Careerism, illicit relationships,
alcoholism, drug abuse, exotic vacations, collections of various kinds,
pornography and the flight into television and the Internet are simply
inadequate ways of grappling with a mystery that lies, I would argue, at the
very heart of the priesthood, and which we will explore in a moment. Because of
our fallen nature, there is need for a deep healing of eros in the heart of every man. I suggest that we are
still coming to terms with this challenge in our human and spiritual formation
programs, and are only beginning to come literally to the heart of the matter.
I propose that Our Lady plays an indispensable role in the transformation of
the priest's masculinity, and the foundation for all that is said in this
article lies in the important work of John Paul II in his Theology of the Body
and Benedict XVI in Deus caritas est.
Read the entire essay...
Many thanks for the excellent insights. Perhaps Fr Cihak might like to follow with an article exploring the role of the consecrated virgin living in the world, in supporting and encouraging the celibate priest. There is a particular bond between the priest and the consecrated virgin living in the world that reflects the bond between Saint John and Our Blessed Mother.
Posted by: Bernadette Chen | Tuesday, July 21, 2009 at 07:32 PM
Thank you Fr. Cihak. Very insightful and touching. Truly affectivity must play an important role in the life of holiness.
Posted by: Nick Chui | Wednesday, July 22, 2009 at 05:14 PM
Fr Cihak--awesome! You know how kids like to ask "Why?" and "Why?" and "Why?" and very often a good answer gives them incentive to continue with whatever they were engaged in. Well your insights give this same encouragement. Thank you.
Posted by: james | Friday, July 24, 2009 at 11:48 AM