Dan Brown's editor pulls back the veil on...

... the funniest line of the week.

Enthralled dwellers of Brownsville were semi-literately thrilled to learn that the cover of Dan Brown's new novel, The Absent-Mindedly Misplaced Metaphor (ahem, I mean The Lost Symbol), was finally being revealed, accompanied by the sort of overblown rhetoric Brown inspires among editors, sycophants and others who benefit from his abuse of grammar, language, and facts:

Showing a blood red wax seal, cryptic symbols and a shadowy skyline of the Capitol, the cover hinted at the setting for the book in Washington D.C. — “though it’s a Washington few will recognize,” said Jason Kaufman, Mr. Brown’s editor. “As we would expect, he pulls back the veil — revealing an unseen world of mysticism, secret societies, and hidden locations, with a stunning twist that long predates America.”

Mr. Kaufman, unexpectedly and unwittingly, coughed up some words of truth: "...though it’s a Washington few will recognize." This, in fact, makes surprising but perfect sense.

Consider how The Da Vinci Code presented a relationship between Jesus and Mary Magdalene recognized by no serious blblical scholar, a woman in Leonardo da Vinci's The Last Supper recognized by no acknowledged art expert, a history of the Bible recognized only by conspiracy theorists, and an albino monk recognized only by those who thought Opus Dei was an ecclesial factory for Romish assassins/pain junkies.

And how about Angels and Demons? How many readers recognize the history of science and religion posited by Brown? How many recognize the physics and science described by Brown? Or the Catholic Church and Vatican described by Brown? How many could have found their way through Rome employing the directions given in the novel? How many could still recognize the English language, correctly employed and artfully rendered, after reading any of Brown's novels? How many would recognize real research in a police line-up including four Brown novels and a scholarly tome on third-century Coptic gnostic scrolls filled with 1,537 foonotes in seven languages?

Fortunately, the fun has already begun. National Lampoon kicks it off:

In his follow up to best sellers Angels and Demons and The Da Vinci Code, Dan Brown has revealed the cover art to his next Robert Langdon adventure. His novels are known for their fast pace and fast pace. This book, like the others, will soon be adapted into a film by director Ron Howard and actor Tom Hanks, both in a much needed break from critically acclaimed films.

The story concerns Langdon using his increasingly handy knowledge of symbology in Washington D.C. Whereas previous books have taken place within a 24 hour period, Brown has stated this book, The Lost Symbol, will take place over a 33 minute period.

National Lampoon has gotten its hands on the first few chapters of the fast paced book.

FACT:
Many of the founding fathers were Freemasons

FICTION:
The rest of the book.

Read the rest (warning: contains some crass material).

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch blog makes an interesting and even compelling comparison: "Author Dan Brown seems to be book lovers’ Sarah Palin: They either love him or hate ‘em. And his stories seem just as open to diverse interpretation."

Think of it: the MSM has tended to ignore the facts about Palin while obsessively creating all sorts of strange fiction, and the many reporters and reviewers who drank the Dan Brown Kool-Aid (the ingredients are secret, of course!) have likewise gulped down the fiction while ignoring the facts. Or, worse, have accepted the fiction as fact.

The true and continuing brilliance of the Brown blitzkrieg is the marketing of thrillers/romance novels—wrapped in conspiracy theories and covered in a veneer of intellectual pretension—as being both refreshingly escapist and seriously learned. Those of us who get overly annoyed with Brownmania are regularly treated to choruses of "Ah, you stupid fundamentalist nut case! It's just a novel! No one thinks it's anything more than a fun read!" So it is necessary to recall the gallons of intellectually-challenged drool that spilled when the The Da Vinci Code was published just a few years ago: "An exhilaratingly brainy thriller," wrote The New York Times about the novel. "Brown doesn't slow down his tremendously powerful narrative engine despite transmitting several doctorates' worth of fascinating history and learned speculation," cooed The Chicago Tribune. "Intellectually satisfying," marveled The Houston Chronicle, and The Boston Globe judged the novel to be "a delightful display of erudition." Reviews used the term "intelligent" so often I began to wonder if the word had been changed (by a secret, bloody Vatican group, no doubt) to mean "banal, vapid, and insulting to people who read real books about true events backed up by actual facts."

Anyhow, come September 15th, the veil will be pulled back and we'll be able to judge exactly how much research went into Brown's story of Robert Langdon sprinting through the nation's capitol uncovering an "unseen world of mysticism, secret societies, and hidden locations." And, no, I'm not judging the book by its cover. After all, I think the covers to Brown's books are far more attractive and creative than what the author and his editor have secretly sandwiched between them.

Comments

[Kevin]

Who was it who said, "The character of those who oppose us is the greatest thing that can be said for us?"

[Sandra Miesel]

I'm fairly sure by this point that the great "mystery" will involve a supposed medieval Templar visit to US territory. The image on the wax seal appears to be the severed head of John the Baptist, patron of the Templars and also revered by Freemasons. *Yawn* This is a staple of nutty-wutty "history" books. *Yawn*

[Salome Bintullah]

Ummm...isn't Dan Brown aware that this story has already been done? Hasn't he even heard of "National Treasure"? It's a pretty recent movie, after all, so I don't know what his excuse can possibly be, unless he's finally going to admit that his book ideas are ripped from other people's projects.

[Carl E. Olson]

Salome: Yes, Dan Brown is surely aware of National Treasure; it is likely a major reason his new book took so long to come out. There has long been speculation that the movie trumped a lot of what Brown's novel (initially titled The Solomon Key) was originally going to "reveal," and that he had to spend another five years "researching" for new material.