Bookmark and Share
My Photo

FROM the EDITORS:

  • IMPORTANT INFORMATION:
    Opinions expressed on the Insight Scoop weblog are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the positions of Ignatius Press. Links on this weblog to articles do not necessarily imply agreement by the author or by Ignatius Press with the contents of the articles. Links are provided to foster discussion of important issues. Readers should make their own evaluations of the contents of such articles.

NEW & UPCOMING, available from IGNATIUS PRESS







































































« New and upcoming books from Ignatius Press | Main | Was G. K. Chesterton anti-Semitic? »

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Comments

MMajor Fan

I just pressed “shuffle” on my CT-Pod (Conspiracy Theory) and it produced the following:

1. You are secretly researching your new book about how “Mork” mated with “My Mother the Car” to produce offspring who believe in aliens but not God.
2. You are being summoned to Russia to help in secret negotiations with Rome and, optionally, to serve as hostage.
3. It has something to do with the Starbucks closures. I don’t know what, but “It can’t be a coincidence,” because “It’s all connected.”
4. You have a developed a new “Do not hide under a bushel basket” camping lantern that you will secretly test, including the high technology button that if you press it while being attacked by a grizzly bear it emits soothing incense to tranquilize the bear (St. Francis patent pending).
5. You had moved to an upstairs study as part of conditioning for a secret mission to the International Space Station involving Opus Dei (Code named: "Us Left Behind? Not So Much, Think Again Earthlings!")
6. You are writing part of the screenplay for the next Batman movie, where The Holy Smoker arrives to help Batman defeat the Joker.
7. You are finally getting to work on the book, “Hitchens Is Not Great!”
8. Paul Allen is going to sell you the Blazers cheap as an act of charity: um, charity for him, ha ha ha, not for you!
9. You are programming a new search engine called “Truegle,” which will return only search results that are actually accurate about the Catholic Church and the Holy Father (saving lots of bandwidth and carbon credits, as a result).
10. At last, you see your opening to be eligible to compete in next year’s Wimbledon. You have a secret training site in the forest.

Nick Milne

What are your talking about? With the Frassati Society, I mean; that wasn't meant to be some incredulous exclamation.

Bob

Early August?
What am I supposed to do at my job until then? Work?

LJ

"9. You are programming a new search engine called “Truegle,” which will return only search results that are actually accurate about the Catholic Church and the Holy Father (saving lots of bandwidth and carbon credits, as a result)."

That's actually a great idea MMajor Fan. I have no idea how it could be done.

By the way, do you know where I could get some carbon credits? Do they, like, come in the mail with the other credit cards? The reason is, I have this old mini-van that still gets me to work, and I can't afford to replace it right now, but it is doing a little more huffing and puffing of late, and I'm beginning to feel a little guilty. I thought if I had a carbon credit card I could feel a little better about it. I could go to confession but then I would need a firm purpose of amendment, or are carbon credits more like indulgences? I'm not real clear on that.

Carl E. Olson

10. At last, you see your opening to be eligible to compete in next year’s Wimbledon. You have a secret training site in the forest.

I wish, I wish, I wish. Alas, even a combo of Brad Gilbert and Jimmy Connors would be able to do nothing with my wild forehand, weak backhand, laughable serve, clunky volleys, non-existent footwork, and lack of all white tennis wear.

MMajor Fan

LJ wrote: "9. You are programming a new search engine called “Truegle,” which will return only search results that are actually accurate about the Catholic Church and the Holy Father (saving lots of bandwidth and carbon credits, as a result)."

That's actually a great idea MMajor Fan. I have no idea how it could be done.

By the way, do you know where I could get some carbon credits? Do they, like, come in the mail with the other credit cards?

Oh dear, LJ. I meant Truegle would eliminate a lot of the hot air, by reducing, well, lying about Catholics. With less hot air and the carbon filled exhaling that accompanies it, people will need less carbon credits, not more. I had relied on Carl to work all those bits out...

MMajor Fan

Carl wrote:
10. At last, you see your opening to be eligible to compete in next year’s Wimbledon. You have a secret training site in the forest.

I wish, I wish, I wish. Alas, even a combo of Brad Gilbert and Jimmy Connors would be able to do nothing with my wild forehand, weak backhand, laughable serve, clunky volleys, non-existent footwork, and lack of all white tennis wear.

Hmm. Well, the first thing I had to do was look up Brad Gilbert, since I could not engage in either encouragement or witty reparte since you introduced a name I'd never heard of, so:

Wikipedia reports: Unlike many other professional players of his era, Gilbert did not have a powerful serve, a dangerous forehand or backhand, a flashy volley, or a lightning smash. His best asset was his ability to keep the ball in play. He hit the ball most often at a deliberately slow pace but with accuracy.

Since you mention the "wild" forehand, well, I reckon you are right, since Gilbert has that "with accuracy" thang.

Ah, but then I noticed... he's written two books, one called "Winning Ugly." Eureka! You got the book writing hands down. Is there not some way to reverse engineer to the tennis talent then? Makes sense to me around this time, shy of 4 AM.

I notice you did not deny the previous 9.

The comments to this entry are closed.

Ignatius Insight

Twitter


Ignatius Press


Catholic World Report


WORTHY OF ATTENTION:




















Blogs & Sites We Like

June 2018

Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
          1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
Blog powered by Typepad