AP cheerleaders offer gushing support of "womenpriests"

This is pathetic, even by AP standards (whatever they might be):

Two women who made Roman Catholic religious history say they are ready to be the new face of the priesthood, even as Archbishop Raymond Burke moved to formally penalize them for violating church law.

How exactly did two women pretending to be or become something they aren't make "Roman Catholic religious history"?! This is journalism? No, of course it isn't—it is blatant cheer leading that has far more interest in pushing the priestette agenda than in presenting the facts.

Rose Marie Dunn Hudson, 67, and Elsie Hainz McGrath, 69, were ordained Sunday as Roman Catholic Womenpriests, a reform movement begun in 2002.

The movement defies church doctrine that reserves ordination of priests and deacons to only men as unjust and discriminatory.

"After all these years, it's a great feeling to be a priest," Hudson said Monday.

Hey, I know what she means. After all these years, I'm enjoying the great feeling of being a professional football player and recognized for my ability to throw seventy-yard touchdown bombs and outrun 260-pound linebackers. And don't even get me started on the money I'm making, what with my $6.7 million-a-year contract and my endorsement deals with Nike, McDonalds, and—scrrrreeeeeeeeeech!

Yep, it's really that stupid. Fortunately, Archbishop Burke is taking the appropriate steps necessary. But, of course, the self-absorbed priestettes in question aren't going to pay attention to either reality or the Archbishop—who is (I guess it needs to be pointed out), an actual Catholic bishop in good standing with the real Catholic Church:

The women said that at the end of Sunday's ceremony, attended by more than 600 people, they were served with a summons and letter from Burke ordering them to appear before a church tribunal Dec. 3.

Burke's three-page letter admonished the women to "renounce any attempts" to celebrate Mass, hear confessions or officiate at any other sacrament under the "penalty of interdict."

Interdiction is the withholding of Holy Communion and other church sacraments "until they acknowledge what they've done is wrong," said the Rev. Arthur Espelage, executive coordinator for the Canon Law Society of America.

On Nov. 5, Burke warned the women, also by letter, that they would be excommunicated if they proceeded with the ordination.

Burke is in Rome this week and cannot be reached for comment.

An archdiocesan spokeswoman said Burke would "never comment publicly on private correspondence" anyway.

Burke wrote in the archdiocesan newspaper Friday that the women will confuse and lead others astray by their "sinful action."

"He loves to do this," Hudson said. "But nobody's paying attention. Some of these laws have to be changed. The church has been practicing gender apartheid for centuries."

Nobody? Really? Which is why, of course, these women undertook their flight of teen-age fantasy in a Jewish synagogue, "ordained" by a former nun.

Neither woman plans to appear before the tribunal, which McGrath called a "canonical kangaroo court," referring to canon or church law.

"Why put yourself through such ridiculous grief?" she asked.

Yeah, why bother listening to the Church you claim has "ordained" you? Stories like this only go to show that rebellion coupled with time results in arrogant, navel-gazing stupidity. They also show how many reporters are mere pawns for stupid, rebellious causes, eager to appear hip and progressive while throwing any semblance of journalistic integrity or basic logic out the window. And, no surprise, some in the ivory tower aren't willing to be outdone:

Frank Flinn, adjunct professor of religious studies at Washington University who wrote "The Encyclopedia of Catholicism," called Sunday's event "a watershed."

Ha! If he thought that was a "watershed," he should have seen my seven touchdown performance for the New England Patriots last week, which included 456 yards passing, 178 yards rushing, and three marriage proposals to four different cheerleaders!

"The church is going to have to change on this issue and these women were ahead of the curve."

He said scholars agree that women were fully functioning members of the early church, but the hierarchy wants to "preserve the male patriarchal model."

Yep, the Catholic Church is going to have to change on this issue because an adjunct professor at Washington University in St. Louis said so, and because the Catholic Church has already changed its teachings on divorce, premarital sex, homosexuality, contraception, abortion, etc., etc. Right, Mr. Flinn? And how does it follow that since women were "fully functioning members of the early church" that they must now—2000 years later—be given permission to be ordained? Just because I'm a fully functioning member of the human race doesn't mean that I should be made the starting quarterback of the New England Patriots (but it probably means that I'm just as fit as Mr. Flinn to be an adjust professor at Washington University).

Finally:

Patricia Fresen, who has ordained other women, says she was ordained as a bishop in Germany in 2005 by an unnamed male bishop in good standing with the pope. She is not recognized as a bishop by the church hierarchy.

Who should we trust: an ex-nun who ignores Church doctrine and canon law and who refers vaguely to unnamed bishops, or an archbishop who one of the world's finest canon lawyers and whose actions are in complete accord with the consistent and clear teachings of the Catholic Church? Hmmm. When you put it that way, it really is a tough question, isn't it? Well, I'll have to answer it later—I have a game against the Buffalo Bills this coming Sunday and I need to work on my end zone dances with my personal choreographer.

• Whacky story of the week: Female rabbi hosts "ordination" of priestettes (Nov. 7, 2007)
• Can priestettes understand simple English? (Sept. 28, 2007)
• Newsweek should be renamed "Brainsweak" (Sept. 13, 2007)
• Priesettes and Cognitive Dissonance (July 10, 2006)
• The Priesthood, Women's Ordination, and Equality (January 26, 2007)
• Rapping Sister's knuckles (January 24, 2007)
• Should Catholic bishops express "respect" for mockery? (August 27, 2007)

Comments

[Ed Peters]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Man, talk about failing the laugh test.

[Gail]

I wrote to the female rabbi of the synagogue where this "ordination" was about to place, asking her if it would be okay with her if my parish hosted a Reform ordination ceremony for a group of people who are ineligible to be rabbis, and if so, if she would send me information on renting her facility because I need a place to celebrate my upcoming inauguration as President of the United States.

No reply yet.

Gail Finke

[Cleo the Asp lady]

So these women consider themselves priests, eh? Well, I could consider myself the re-incarnation of Cleopatra, but that would obviously not make it true! We all indulge in fantasies and daydreams from time to time, God gave us an imagination, but to take these things seriously and act them out would land us in the loony bin, or in front of a court. These women are indeed self-absorbed, ill-educated as to the mind of the Church, and just plain batty. Excuse me, I have to go pour a goblet of the finest Falernian wine for my guest, Mark Antony. Cheers, Cleo

[Nick Milne]

Fortunately for all of us, I was secretly installed as Pope Urban IX by an unnamed College of Cardinals (in good standing with Rome, you understand), and I hereby declare, decree and confirm that none of this ever happened. Abp. Burke can sheathe his pen, these ladies can go back to whatever they called their lives before this sordid nonsense began, and the Los Angeles Times can once more take up the honoured practice of printing informative sidebars about the wealthy and the vapid.

So shall it be, and so be it, etc.

[Nick Milne]

The International Herald-Tribune can go about its business, too; the previous statement regarding the Los Angeles Times being infallible, we (not the papal We, but the Body of the Faithful, being the Church of Christ), must expand our understanding of it to remove the apparent error. It is clear that Urban IX was referring to the Los Angeles Times by way of example rather than in a specific sense; he might also have declared that the Orillia News Packet could continue with its delightful series profiling local business owners, or that Pixar could persist in producing pleasant films.

His reasons for choosing the Los Angeles Times specifically are unknown to us, but such is the high regard in which he is held as a thinker that we are forced to conclude that they (that is, the reasons) were very convincing indeed, even if they have been lost to us. Perhaps in their mystery they convince all the more!

[Gail]

A technical note: In my short career as a reporter, and my longer career as an editor, I used the AP Stylebook for years. It was a great resource, partly because it was precise. After reading the AP story, I was struck at how it could have come from the same organization that put out that Stylebook.

Just one example will show what I mean. The lead calls our friendly neighborhood priestettes "women who made Roman Catholic history" -- although the story repeatedly talks about other "ordained" women and an "ordained" woman bishop. So if there are other ordained women, how could these two be making history? They're old hat now!

It is a shoddy story in every way, quite apart from its entire disregard for common sense.

Gail Finke

[Ed Peters]

I'm convinced. All hail, Might Pope Nick! Hail!

[Ed Peters]

Gail, I saw that too. How can it be "watershed"? These goofies have been at this for 5 years, there's a couple dozen of them already.

All hail, Mighty Pope Nick! Hail.

[Nick Milne]

Ed Peters' just declaration of support has finally ended what had been, until this moment, the complete and permanent schism of the entire Church. Truly, he is the mustard seed.

[Tony]

Didn't we just hear about "priestesses" who "made history" last year? Didn't the "red poncho ladies" "make history" on the Danube a couple years back? And what's with this movement from boats to Synagogues? Must be something symbolic, I just don't get it.

I love the fact that these women claim they they were ordained by someone who was ordained by someone in communion with Rome.

It really doesn't matter. The Holy Father himself couldn't ordain these women any more than he could confect cookies and milk into the body and blood of Jesus.

Women are invalid matter for the sacrament of Holy Orders.

[Ed Peters]

"Women are invalid matter for the sacrament of Holy Orders."

Tony, that's going beyond, I think, what OS says. It's an argument that could be made, but it's not the argument one needs to make to show invalidity here.

EG: By Canon 521, I cannot be validly appointed to the office of pastor. We don't rest that conclusion on the claim that I am "invalid matter" for pastor.

[Mark L.]

Might we hope for a statement from the USCCB on this nonsense once Cardinal George takes over?

And are any of these alleged priestettes under "a certain age" (asked in the hope that this silliness will simply fade away over time)?