Hey Britney, it was never about your singing!

I recognize that by posting this at all, I am devoting more time, energy, and brain cells to Britney Spears’ disastrous appearance at last weekend’s MTV Video Music Awards than the disgusting debacle merits.

That being said, I must admit to finding the media backlash against Britney the last few days fascinating. It says so much about what our culture values. Our complaint isn’t that the 25-year-old former pop princess cavorted around onstage in a black bikini and knee-high boots, it’s that she did it with less-than-rock-solid abs. We aren’t in an uproar because the mother of two young boys pranced through a sexually explicit dance routine to a vulgar song entitled “Gimme More” on national television; the really atrocious thing is that she couldn’t make it through the dance moves with the precision and skill of her jail-bait teenage years and that she frequently slipped up in her lip-syncing. Brit isn’t being derided all over the Web for looking and acting like a prostitute or stripper; she’s the object of sarcasm and pity because she looks like a woman who has had two babies in the last two years and who maybe isn’t doing 1,000 crunches a day anymore.

Admittedly Britney was asking for it Sunday night; that she doesn’t have the body she had five years ago should have been as clear to her as it is to everyone else. The lack of self-knowledge here is astounding and pitiful. Seriously, Brit, did you think the society that catapulted you to stardom because of those washboard abs and sexy dance moves would tolerate the display of a little bit of flab and a big bit of onstage apathy?

America will forgive its favorite showbiz harlot for driving a car with a baby in her lap (not to mention 24-hour Vegas marriages and stints in and out of rehab), but not for failing to titillate.

My suspicion is that Britney’s star will rise again—she’s still young, and getting her career back on track should be as easy as laying off the margaritas and spending some quality time with a personal trainer. And everyone loves a comeback kid; the media will praise her courage and determination, talk show hosts will fall all over themselves to find out what it was that got her through her darkest days, and Americans will flock to buy her albums and tickets to her concerts.

America’s sexy sweetheart will return and do what she does best—stronger, thinner, and skankier than ever.

Ok, now go read one of Carl’s MUCH more edifying posts!

Comments

[Ed Peters]

Cate's post makes a dangerous lot of sense. I think BritS is, culturally, about a 2 on the 1-10 scale of importance, but a 2 is a 2. Nice post,Cate.

[LJ]

Yes Virginia, there is an unforgiveable sin in America.

There's an old song about a clown I used to hear the kids singing but I can't remember the words....

Bumpkin...no that's not it...Bilbo, Bilbo...no, that's Lord of the Rings...

mmmm... maybe it'll come to me.

[A Nice Guy Who Isn't Mean to Brithney]

I actually really liked her song, "Toxic." Maybe it's just mean.

[A Nice Guy Who Isn't Mean to Brithney]

I actually really liked her song, "Toxic." Maybe it's just mean.

[Carl Olson]

We aren’t in an uproar because the mother of two young boys pranced through a sexually explicit dance routine to a vulgar song entitled “Gimme More” on national television; the really atrocious thing is that she couldn’t make it through the dance moves with the precision and skill of her jail-bait teenage years and that she frequently slipped up in her lip-syncing.

Both funny and sadly true. Excellent observations, Cate. I know that the "Golden Age" of Hollywood celebrities (c. 1930s-1950s) was filled with scandal and tabloids, but there is an ugliness to today's celebrity machine that is sadistic and inhuman. Celebrities are created in order to be destroyed; I would go so far as to say that the Hollywood/MSM monster is just as despicable—more so—than Michael Vick. Killing dogs is one thing, but ultimately can't be compared to destroying souls. And while many young people freely choose to jump into the cauldron of celebrity destruction (after all, there is the supposed "bright side" of fame, fortune, sex, power, etc.), some, like Britney, seem to have been pushed towards it from a very young age by those who had a responsibility to protect them.

My suspicion is that Britney’s star will rise again

I wonder. Perhaps she'll survive as Tiffany has, or perhaps she'll simply waste away in that weird haze of eccentric self-destruction embraced by former stars such as Michael Jackson. The sad thing is that any type of normality is going to be very hard for her to obtain—if she even knows what it is or wants it.

[Ed Peters]

"...there is an ugliness to today's celebrity machine that is sadistic and inhuman..."

Yeah. Can you even imagine an awards gala with a tuxedoed Gary Grant slugging Bob Hope over some gal they shared?

[Jackson]

I'll never tire of repeating Shakespeare's epitaph for this age:

"O shame, where is thy blush?"

A devastating question:

"Brit, did you think the society that catapulted you stardom because of those washboard abs and sexy dance moves would tolerate the display of a little bit of flab and a big bit of onstage apathy?"

"Truth, the bitter truth."

-Stendhal

[Jackson]

O'Reilly gave Dennis Miller an opening for a Britney joke tonight, and Miller said, "I don't want to be the last person to crack a joke before she dies." Sad.

[MMajor Fan]

Actually, it would have been awesome if she had come out in a 1950's style housecoat or duster and then wearing that, busted some incredible moves. The humorless audience would not have appreciated it but I think it would have been quite a zinger and a great, um, transitional move!

[Mark B.]

I actually feel sorry for her. She is an adult and responsible for her actions, but she was pushed towards the "sex sells" lifestyle at an early age. I pray that someone will actually be concerned for Brittany the person, as opposed to Brittany the performer.

[Mark B.]

Sorry folks, I can't even spell her name right. Britney, not Brittany.